During the next five posts, I will discuss five simple strategies to prepare yourself for your relationships that have been useful to me and might offer some insight for you:
Strategy #1. Breathe
Our breath is our life. Without our breath, everything else in our body literally stops.
On the inhalation of our breath, our energy rises. We pull the from the air the oxygen that fuels our every thought and our every action. With each exhale, we get a chance to expel stagnant energy. We release our stores of carbon dioxide and release the tension that weighs us down. When our breath is strong, we are energized and ready to connect to the greater world around us. For example, through our breath, we connect to the plants that share the earth. We take the oxygen given freely from their greens and we give back the carbon dioxide they need to live. Our breath, inextricably connects us to the greater cycle of life.
We can use the idea of breath and connection to help us thrive in our relationships. All of us experience the anger and frustration that comes from blending lives together. We all know what it feels like to disappoint others and to be disappointed by them. Without a healthy way to breathe through these feelings and release them, we risk building up resentment - like carbon dioxide - which will eventually choke the very life from our being.
Learning to breathe through our most upsetting emotions, can keep our hearts light and our minds clear. I'd like you to take a moment to breathe as you are reading. And then use this exercise every day - and especially in the moments when you find yourself most unsettled in your heart:
Grounding
- Breathe in deeply through your nose until your lungs tell you they are full.
- Breathe out pushing the air, deliberately and with control, out of your lungs until they are all but empty.
- Continue breathing, concentrating on your breath until each breath rolls into the next and becomes a circle - one breath seamless from another.
- Once this type of breathing feels comfortable and rolls without effort, bring your awareness to the bottom of your belly. For women, this is your womb, your creation place. For men, this is also the center of your creativity. For all of us, this is the place within us for accepting change. Feel how the bottom of your breath awakens this place. Let your breath draw energy into it. You might feel this space begin to tingle a little or become warm.
- After you have awakened this space, let your breath draw down into the space between your thighs. This space honors your connection to the earth. Breathe into your hips, exhale and become aware of your inner thighs. You may feel a shiver up your spine and your thighs may begin to tingle.
- Continue to draw your breath in and out. Feel the bottoms of your feet and the firmness of the ground beneath you. Notice the seam between your feet and the ground.
- Now, I want you to become aware that there is more than your body and let your breath draw you down, down beneath your feet. In your mind, picture your exhale pushing through the earth. Imagine your breath pressing down through the grass, through the dirt, through the worms. All the time, each inhale fills you up - through your feet, through your thighs, your lower belly, your lungs.
- Exhale down through your belly, through your feet, through the bones of your ancestors.
- Exhale down through the rocks and the water deep within the earth.
- Exhale down to where the earth is warm then hot then molten.
- Inhale the earth's heat. Inhale up through the rocks, the water, the bones of your ancestors. Up through the dirt and the worms and the grass. Up into your feet, your thighs, your lungs and out into the world around you.
- Breathe in and out until the circle of your breath surrounds you like a bright bubble full of light and energy, warm from the warmth of the earth. In your mind, you can imagine light in your belly, light in your heart, light in your mind.
- Close with one big breath and, on the exhale, bend down and touch your palms to the ground feeling gratitude for your ability to connect with the earth and the life around you.
Remember your breath. Remember in everyday moments. Remember in stressful moments. Remember when you feel love swell in your heart for partner, your children, your parents. Remember when you think you might just throttle your loved one and feel like you've had enough. Even if you can't do this exercise or the exercise doesn't feel right to you, the simple act of breathing will change the dynamics in your relationships.
Strategy #1: Remember your breath.
